Category: Small Talk

I’m having an internal crisis of sorts – emotional and mental. In terms of this space. I’m feeling both uninspired and guarded. Dull, empty, tired, and private, quiet, hesitant. A few months ago I made a concerted effort to beef up my blog. I started intentionally sharing more fashion posts, details of my travels, updates on making a home, and for a few weeks shared a daily color board.

And then the holidays came. I spent a few weeks at home in Maine. I skied, I visited friends, I spent quality time with my family. I traveled for two weeks in January and remembered how wonderful it is to spend time with the people I love. I reconnected with all of my best girlfriends. My 7 roommates from college. And my 8 best friends from home. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun.

And then this. All of this happened.

I returned to Boston, I came back to work and life felt like it stopped. Life didn’t stop, of course it kept going.. but the exhilarating feeling that lives inside of me, the one that makes me feel like I’m really living, truly enjoying life. That went away.

I hit a wall this month. It’s certainly not how I envisioned the beginning of 2012, but it’s left me thinking.

What the heck am I doing? I spend 8 hours a day in front of a computer at work, only to waltz into my apartment and plop on the couch and surf the blogosphere for another 2 hours before making dinner, watching tv, and going to bed. My boyfriend wants to throw my computer out the window, and I guess when I really think about it – I don’t blame him.

I am consumed by my computer. My internet life. My iPhone, my iPad. Google Reader, Pinterest, Tumblr, Twitter. I could spend my entire life in front of my computer. But that isn’t what it’s all about, is it? This holiday season. That’s what life is really about. It’s about choosing a day outside with friends over catching up with my blog. It’s about going out to lunch with my boyfriend instead of browsing Pinterest on my lunch break. It’s about going away on the weekends, trying new things. Getting outside and getting together with people.

So I don’t know what decision I’m making right now. I suppose I’m not ready to make any, yet. But I’m thinking. I’m thinking about the purpose of this blog – what it is now, and what it should be moving forward. It started as truly private space. Where I talked about relationships, life and happiness. It’s changed a lot since then, but it still doesn’t feel authentic. I want a place where I can mash my thoughts with my Tumblr photos and quotes. I want to share things I pin on Pinterest in that same place. I want one, single space that is true to who I am and that’s just not the case right now.

My internet world is becoming too cluttered, and it’s stressing out my mind, and my real life relationships.

And I need your help! I entered the boyfriend and myself in a Facebook contest to win a free ski vacation in Salt Lake City. Turns out there are less than 150 entries, so as far as online contests go, the chances of winning this one aren’t too shabby!

The prize package is the vacation of a lifetime. A ski vacation in Salt Lake City for myself and 3 friends. Accommodations in a slope side cabin. Dinner out on the town, a concert at night and … a new camera to capture the whole thing!

So here’s where you come in. The entry with the most “likes” wins. Will you “like” my entry?

1. Log into Facebook and go here: http://www.facebook.com/VisitSaltLake?sk=app_168069923289523&app_data=x1605438
2. If “Whitney’s Dream Vacation” pops up, click “like”. You’re done!
3. If my individual entry doesn’t pop up, keep reading.
4. Go to Page 6 of entries and find the 3rd row. Find the entry in the right hand column. It has over 60 votes.
5. Click that entry, click “like”. You’re done!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you times a million. As you know, the boyfriend and I are big skiiers, and he just went out west to ski. But I on the other hand, have never been beyond Vermont!

Please help me win the vacation of my dreams by clicking “like”!

Last week I shared with you my list of resolutions for the new year. Some items were lofty, hard to measure goals, like become more outgoing, and forgive. Others were easy, straight forward. Either I’ll do it or I won’t. Things like: run, read, and drink more water fall into this bucket. Just to recap what I originally wrote down as my goals for 2012, let’s take a look:

• Run, walk, whatever. Just start moving.
• Drink water. Everyday.
• Read more. One book a month.
• Spend less. Save more. Period.
• Travel to new places. Travel internationally twice.
• Create an online photography store. Sell at least one of my own photos.
• Cook more creatively, use new recipes. Bake at least one new treat a month.
• Volunteer more frequently. Once a quarter.
• Forgive. A lot of people. Including myself.
• Become more outgoing. Speak up for myself.
• Dress boldly, accessorize freely. Let people judge.

But since I shared that post a few days, new ideas have been popping into my head, so I thought I’d add them into the mix. I may even start a goals page to keep track of my progress (and to be able to add new ideas as they come up).

• Lotion, lotion, lotion. I have neglected my skin for far too many years. It’s a simple task. Get out of the shower, apply lotion. Done.
• Wash my face nightly. Who isn’t guilty of taking the lazy route and just hopping into bed?
• Send more snail mail. Letters, cards or postcards. Doesn’t matter. Send birthday cards to all of my friends, send thank you notes following visits. Send cheerful encouragement to friends that are having a hard time.
• Get a photograph with the boyfriend at all of the major events. Can you believe we don’t have a single couples photo from Christmas?
• See my girlfriends more. My absolute best friend in the entire world lives in South Boston. And I’ve been to her apartment once. Just once, since she moved here. How absurd is that? Get together, have more dinner dates.
• Back up my photos on my external hard drive. Then back up my external hard drive on CDs. Then print out some of my favorites to save.

So there you have my resolutions, revisited. I like that a lot of my goals for 2012 are doable, they are realistic and rather simple. Things I just need to be more conscious of like drinking water, and lotioning, and other things that I just need to do. Things like taking a photo with the boyfriend at major holidays and writing thank you cards after visits!

What’d y’all put down as your goals for 2012? Any good ones I should take on as my own?

I celebrated New Year’s Eve with friends, and welcomed the new year with a bit of positive thinking. But I never wrote down my goals. I’m now about a week late, but honestly, I figure sitting on your year long goals for a few extra days never hurt anyone. So now that 2012 has begun to set it, I find myself having two different types of goals for the new year. The easy, simple kind. And the more complicated kind.

Let’s start with the easy ones. These are the things I should be doing all the time, regardless of it being a new year. These are the things I know will do my body, heart and mind good, yet continue to ignore from year to year to year.

1. I want to start running. Or walking. But preferably running.
2. I need to drink more water. Like 8 cups each day, more. Every, single day.
3. I should read more. Doesn’t matter if it’s the newspaper, on my iPad or a paperback. Reading is good for my brain, and I don’t do nearly enough of it.
4. I have to spend less. Or I’ll never start saving.

And then there are the goals that I want to set, that just don’t seem as simple. Whether it be because they cost money, or cost time. Because they are challenging or embarrassing. Certain things that are just good for the soul, and I truly believe will make me a better, more mature person.

So here are a few more things I’ll add to my list of new year’s resolutions.

1. Travel to new places. Travel internationally, twice.
2. Set up an online photography store. And sell at least one of my own photos.
3. Cook, bake. Get familiar with new foods, new ingredients. And bake at least one new recipe a month.
4. Volunteer more frequently. At least once a quarter. Hopefully a lot more.
5. Forgive. A lot of people. Including myself, for a lot of things. Time to move on.
6. Become more outgoing. Speak up at work. Talk to strangers. Ask a question, if I have one.
7. Dress boldly, accessorize freely. Wear lipstick, whenever I want to.

This morning at 5AM, the air was frigid and the sky still dark. But the boyf and I packed up the car and off we drove. We arrived at the airport in 12 minutes. Traffic is, apparently non-existent in Boston at such a god awful hour. We followed signs towards departures, stopped at terminal C. I kissed the boyf goodbye and drove home to get ready for work.

Tonight, and for the next 3 days, he is here:

Meanwhile, I’m here. On the couch. With my laptop and iPad.

I thought I’d be jealous of his ski vacation with the guys. I suppose I still am, but I forgot how lovely having alone time with my gadgets can be. Plus, I have a lot of DVR to catch up on.

My ex-boyfriend’s mother posted a passage on Facebook this morning. I have no idea who said it or where it came from, but I liked it. Don’t ask why I’m Facebook friends with my ex-boyfriend’s mom.

“Let’s pretend, just for today, all day long, throughout our every thought and decision, that life is easy, that everyone means well, and that time is on our side. Ok? And let’s pretend that we are loved beyond belief, that magic conspires on our behalf, and that nothing can ever hurt us without our consent. All right? And if we like this game, we’ll play again tomorrow as well, and the next day, and the next, and pretty soon, it won’t be a game at all, because life, for us, will become those things. Just as it’s become what it is, today. Thoughts become realities, too.”

Anyways, the point is that this passage is great. It reminds me of the famous line by the Buddha. A line first introduced to me during a theology course in college, that has stuck with me ever since.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”

It was actually this Buddha quote that prompted me to begin my blog, exactly two years ago. Let me get something off my chest. At the time I was crazy. A few years out of college with a decent job and cute apartment, my life was fun and my relationship… well, intense. Passionate, loving, but intense. I was living a seemingly normal existence for a 23 year old but my mind was running wild. My emotions were all over the place, off the charts, and my soul was aching for something more. Instead of running, throwing everything away and trying to start over, I decided to listen to the teeny, tiny rational part of my head.

I stayed put in Boston, kept the same job (for awhile at least) and continued to move forward in my relationship, falling even more in love with the boyf. But I told myself it was time to take control of my life. Of my thoughts and emotions. So I recalled the quote from the Buddha and said to myself, something along the lines of: Jesus Christ, just be happy. Just try. Think about it. Act like you are. Enjoy life, find happiness in the little things, and start convincing yourself that your life ain’t too shabby! You’re blessed beyond belief with a family that loves you unconditionally, a boyfriend who adores you, friends that will never, ever turn their back and a steady job in the middle of an economic crisis. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good.

After all, in the words of good ole’ Buddha, “With our thoughts, we make the world.”

So where am I going with all of this? I told you how I spent New Year’s Eve with Heather and baby Clara, but I should also share with you some of my goals and resolutions for the new year. But since I haven’t thought those through yet, I thought I’d share a little passage that I saw on Facebook today. A passage that reminded me of a favorite quote. One that took me back to where I was two years ago, and one that will hopefully lead me into the new year with a hope-filled heart and a smile on my face.

Happy new year, friends.

Girls are coming over in 15 minutes to have a Monday night TV date at my place. On the TV agenda: the return of Pretty Little Liars and the season premiere of The Bachelor! I whipped up a red sangria, put out chips, hummus and salsa, and just put a homemade mac and cheese dish in the oven.

Before prepping the food and drinks, I ran as many errands as humanly possible in just under an hour, and cleaned the house like a mad woman. Not because the girls care, but because it’s the end of my 9 day vacation. We’ve had people in and out of the apartment for days and our little one bedroom apartment has gone through Christmas and New Year’s Eve. It needed a good sweep, a good mop, a good scrub and spray. I cleaned the bathroom, cleaned all the floors, ran the dishwasher, put the dishes away, cleaned the counters and took out the trash. I refreshed the water in vases and picked up the dirty clothes in the bedroom. I made the bed (again), shut all of the windows and lit a wintery candle.

Ah. In addition to errands and cleaning I had hoped to tackle some of my other to-do items, but alas, I suppose they’ll have to sit uncrossed and wait for another day.

Last week I mentioned that Heather was due to visit for New Year’s Eve weekend. She, Nathan and baby Clara arrived on Friday. We had an incredibly relaxing weekend. Filled with TV shows, wine, board games, walks outdoors and about a dozen trips to the grocery store.

Come New Year’s Eve there was food, a lot of food. A lot of easy to make, delicious food. Chips and salsa, fresh made guacamole, and a delicious champagne spritzer to start. We had homemade, baked and breaded mac and cheese. Asparagus. We cooked pulled pork in the crock pot all day long, and served it on buns with cole slaw on the side. For desert there were individual sized cheesecakes, drizzled with chocolate caramel sea salt sauce. And of course English toffee cannolis baked by a dear friend from Maine.

The food and drink seemed endless, and we rang in the New Year at midnight with kisses, champagne and calls to our parents. Apparently this is normal. I’ve never called my parents at midnight. Oh, well.

Don’t forget to ooh and aaaw over my favorite pictures of Clara, and check out Heather’s trip to Boston post on Woah, baby!

Heather, Nathan and baby Clara Belle arrived in Boston on Friday. What a perfect weekend with an old friend. I think the guys got along just fine, talking about everything from beers to movies to comic books to video games. But more on our New Year’s Eve weekend later. For now, let’s just drool over this little darling.

I literally did not want to put her down, all weekend. Her giggles, her big blue eyes, her bright red hair. She is perfect. Now let’s just hope that I have such a well tempered baby when it’s my turn!

Later today, this gorgeous new mama is comin’ to town with her handsome husband and baby. Her hubs is going to a concert, so tonight will be a girls night, baby CB in tow. Heather and I have become a new kind of close the past two years so I couldn’t, simply couldn’t be more excited.

This New Years Eve will be the first in years that I’m not heading out to some over priced downtown bash. Trust me, I’m not sad about this. Instead, Heather and Nathan, the boyf and I will lounge. We’ll make fancy apps, enjoy a home cooked dinner, and treat ourselves to some sort of yummy dessert. Champagne will be sipped, drinks will be drank (specialty beer only for Nathan) and if everyone’s lucky there may be something sparkly in our flutes! There may be a little board game playing (if arms can be twisted). And there will be TV watching, music listening and without a doubt picture taking.

I’m currently looking at about 5 different to-do lists. I have an apartment to clean, food to be purchased, and errands to be done. I’m sure at least 4 of my to-do lists will not be completed by their arrival, but honestly, with close friends, who cares?